...Until Eating Disorders Are No More
Feel free to use the Ask box or to email me at EDsNoMore@gmail.com.
An eating disorder is nothing to be ashamed of!
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Be careful what you wish for… because you might get treated like a woman.
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How to handle a drunk girl passed out on your couch.
wow perfect
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“Understanding what intersex means also helps with understanding what it doesn’t mean. Our bodies are natural and normal and healthy; while some...”
Two years ago I was invited by the Eating Disorders Coalition to participate in the Spring 2011 Congressional Briefing. I put on a fancy suit and gave a speech on Capitol Hill about my experiences with anorexia and how drastic action is needed to save lives from eating disorders.
“When I should have been making friends, focusing on school work, and growing into the person I was going to become, I instead lost two years of my life to anorexia, two years of my life that I can’t ever get back. My senior year in high school, I had a falling out with some close friends, and fell into a deep depression. I lost my appetite, and couldn’t sleep. I didn’t know what was happening – everything occurred so quickly. Though I had visibly lost weight, it was a few months after my problems began that I ever bothered weighing myself. Co-workers who didn’t know me well would compliment me on the weight I’d lost. My friends could tell something was wrong, they just didn’t know how to approach it. Not knowing what was wrong myself, when they’d ask if I was OK I would insist that I was fine (a word that a good friend of mine refers to as ‘the real F-word’). Eventually, someone at work asked me how much weight I had lost. The thought hadn’t crossed my mind, and out of sheer curiosity I went home and weighed myself, and my bitter relationship with numbers began.”
You can access the full speech transcript here.
Striving for Perfection: Body Image in Males
Got to participate in a panel discussion on body image in males for The Stream, a program which airs on Al Jazeera English. Really stoked to have been a part of it, especially because of the other panelists. Alan Aragon, a nutrition and body building expert, had a lot of unique things to talk about that were new to me.
My bias towards the category of sex stems first from the fact that it stands out as unique due to the way that the “pronoun problem” interferes with eating disorders affecting a male population. For example, even if a clinician develops a workbook or program which might be better suited to teenagers than someone in their fifties, if they are writing to an intended female audience or discussing body image as a problem facing women, then at least their pronoun use will be consistent. There is, of course, nothing wrong with writing to an intended audience, and there is undeniable value in acknowledging the unique ways that one’s position in society based on sex and/or gender identity may play a role in a negative body image or an eating disorder.
The problem begins when the focus upon the statistical majority (women) is such that the already marginalized male voice is practically silenced and erased from the conversation. The first thirty results from a quick search for the topic “eating disorders” in the books section of Amazon.com in December 2012 reveals the following: out of thirty books, only five were authored or co-authored by men. If we exclude more academic writings such as clinical handbooks or guides tailored to professionals and focus purely on books intended for a general consumer audience (such as parental guides, self-help books, memoirs) that number drops to three out of thirty, or ten percent – which is, coincidentally, the same estimated percentage of male anorexics. While the sex of the author(s) is not deterministic of the content or focus of the writing, the more noteworthy finding is that out of the first thirty results, fourteen out of thirty books (essentially half) either specifically had words like ‘woman’ or ‘girls’ in the title or, despite a gender-neutral title, featured a female on the cover. The latter is especially concerning due to the fact that titles and descriptions of these books sound as though they written in a gender-inclusive or gender-neutral fashion, but then through their cover art or imagery implied that they were actually written for or about women.
…As a male-bodied individual, much of my recovery from anorexia required me to squeeze into a recovery culture which had been tailored and designed for women. To create space and dialogue which is gender-inclusive requires an investigation into the reasons that negative body image and eating disorders have historically been associated with women or regarded as a “women’s problem.” The word choice here is deliberate. I have on occasion found myself employing the phrase “gender neutral,” but as I stated previously, I believe there is value in the unique experience of how one’s sex or gender may play a role in their recovery. Gender inclusivity is preferable because it is also a fluid phrase which does not limit itself to an idea such as “a dialogue which includes men” or is otherwise rooted in a binary understanding of sex or gender; rather, it could accommodate an infinite number of genders.
-Matt Wetsel
“If you talked to your friends the way you talk to your body, you’d have no friends left”- Marcia Hutchinson.
The New Year marks almost two years that my blog has been online. 2012 saw a lot of new visitors, and as I did last year, here are some of my favorite posts of 2012!
1) January 13, 2012: Smash Your Scale (And Anything Else Holding You Back!)
One of my favorite posts, and also one of my favorite stories to tell. The avatar for my blog (the smashed scale up in the corner) isn’t some stock photo – it’s actually the scale I smashed back in 2005 behind the alley of my first apartment.
“I can’t really understate how good it felt to smash that evil contraption. It was one of the biggest enablers of the eating disorder, and there was no way I could pretend that I was going to get better and still keep it around.”
2) February 6, 2012: Reasons for Recovery Blog Series: Part 2
For the month of February leading up to National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, myself and a bunch of other writers did a blog series about Reasons for Recovery. You can check out all the posts by following this link.
From the post:
“A lot of people with eating disorders struggle with negative self-talk. I think this is one of the most important things one can do: to counter it with a correction and remind oneself of what’s true. The eating disorder makes you say, “I can’t do this! It’s impossible!” but we counter that with, “I’m having trouble doing this. It’s very hard for me, but it is not impossible.”
It’s almost like learning to speak a new language – the language of recovery. The eating disorder inserts its own voice into your mind and thoughts, masquerading them as one’s own. It has a very limited vocabulary, consisting of words and phrases to make one feel bad about themselves. You could almost say we get tricked into speaking this language, engaging in negative self-talk and focusing on arbitrary numbers like weight or caloric information instead of how we feel. The language of recovery, though, has no room for self-deprecation, negative self-talk, or the futile effort of measuring self-worth with a scale.”
3) March , 2012: Matt Ryd Testimony
Definitely check this one out. Matt Ryd is a musician from Chicago who made this really touching video about his struggle with eating disorders. The music in the video is his own, and the whole thing really draws attention to how eating disorders aren’t a women’s issue or a men’s issue, but a public health issue. Watch it!
4) April 21, 2012: The Unlikely Connection Between Punk Rock, Sobriety, and Eating Disorders
If it wasn’t for punk music and a subculture that was anti-substance use, my recovery would have been a whole lot harder. I think it’s important to consider the way substances (especially alcohol) can affect our well-being since they’re so common in our society and so socially acceptable.
“When I developed an eating disorder in college, I believe now that if I hadn’t been disinterested in drinking or doing drugs that I would have been a lot worse off, as I would have had one more way to numb myself from how horrible I felt. When anorexia was in control, I hated myself and the entire world. I don’t think I would have found the motivation and will to seek recovery if I had been open to drinking, and I’m eternally grateful for the factors and people in my life that led me to being able to verbalize something I had always felt but never felt welcomed to express among my peers, that I just had no interest in using intoxicants.
What do you think? Substance use, peer pressure, and societal acceptance/encouragement of things like drinking and dieting can make your head spin and I always think about how they impact recovery. How have these issues affected your life or recovery?”
5) May 24, 2012: In Remembrance: Reanna’s Story
At the Spring 2012 Lobby Day with the Eating Disorders Coalition, I met Tracy Smith, the mother of a girl who died from her eating disorder. With her permission, I shared her testimony from the EDC Congressional Briefing. It’s an all-too-important, heart-breaking reminder that eating disorders are life-threatening diseases which desperately need more research, prevention, and education.
6) July 2, 2012: Fit, or Fitting In?
It’s 2013 and I’m still sick of this “fitspo” crap. Appearances can be deceiving, which couldn’t be better illustrated than by Sarah Robles, the strongest womanperson in America. Despite being an Olympic athlete, she struggled to get an endorsement and could barely pay her rent. If you passed Sarah on the street, you might assume she was “out of shape” due to the size of her body, but in reality she’s actually an extremely accomplished athlete!
It’s proof that this fitspo crap is really just an endorsement and idealization of a specific body type. You don’t need to be a certain weight or even look a certain way to be healthy or “in shape”, no matter what anyone tells you.
7) August 13, 2012: Skin Deep: Eating Disorder Recovery Tattoos
My most popular post to date, and with good reason – the stories and art that readers shared are incredible! Even behind the simple designs are stories of courage and hard-fought battles back to health. I’ve had a few inquiries about doing a follow-up post, so if you have any recovery tattoos you’d like to show off, email me at EDsNoMore@gmail.com!
8) September 10, 2012: Secular Spirituality, Atheism, and Recovery
Faith-based recovery programs are great for people who come from religious backgrounds, but what if you don’t have a faith tradition or stumble over the G-word? Here’s another one that got a lot of you talking and thinking about how toown your recovery when you fall outside of the conventional approaches.
“…It makes me wonder how religious language and faith-based programs influence recovery – particularly if you don’t regard the word ‘God’ as a proper noun. Have you ever found yourself held back when the G-word gets dropped, as though someone hit the breaks and suddenly you feel completely out of place? How have you dealt with it?“
Those are my favorite posts from 2012. Thanks for reading, commenting, sharing links, and keeping the conversation going about body image and recovery. In 2013, how will you think about your self, your health, and your well-being without thinking about things like weight?
Now that the holidays are here, I can breathe a little easier. I’m lucky that my job is at a university, which happens to shut down for almost two whole weeks over the holidays! Which means it’s time to get around to updating this page!
Holidays used to be a big challenge for me. Being around family, having food prepared for you or going out to restaurants you aren’t used to, your whole schedule thrown off… sometimes that chance to relax is actually more stressful than your day-to-day. Over the years I learned that it’s the times when you’re challenged that it’s most important to stick to what works for you and put recovery first.
Maybe you want to get out of going to that restaurant, or just make excuses to avoid meals with other people all together. But I think the best gift you can give to yourself is to do things for you and not whatever negative voice in your head might tell you otherwise. Sure, it’s easier said than done, but recovery is something you do, meal by meal, day by day.
If you’re working, in school, or both, the holidays (basically all of November and December, if you’re anything like the average American!) can just add stress and make it harder to focus on taking care of yourself. But those are the times when it’s the absolute most important to maintain healthy choices and self-care. When you find yourself overwhelmed, where you do go for a breath of fresh air?
If you’ve struggled with an ED in the past, odds are that one of the reflexive reactions is to slip back into those kinds of patterns. That’s why it’s really important to have a plan for taking good care of yourself. Having a few friends who understand where you’re coming from that you know you can call in the moment when you’re struggling can go a long way. Why not go for a walk, a drive, a bike ride? Call a friend?
We all need a breath of fresh air sometimes. The question is, where do you go to get it? Do you turn back to old habits, or do you seek out new ways of dealing?
When you’re in the moment and all that anxiety about food feels so overpowering, it’s easy to feel as though there’s no other option but to engage in disordered eating behavior. But the best gift you can give to yourself, no matter what holiday you may or may not celebrate, is the gift of self-nurturance and self-care.
Well this is exciting! I’ll be on a live segment of the Huffington Post tonight to join a discussion about the public perception of eating disorders! It starts at 8:40pm EST and will last about 20 minutes. You can tune in at http://live.huffingtonpost.com/!
New post about religion and recovery. What’s a nonbeliever to do when the G-word is getting dropped left and right?
From the link: “I had never been comfortable with the personified notion of God. Just typing the word God I feel conflicted. As I write this, I debate if I should put it in quotes or make the ‘g’ lowercase. And back then, when the word ‘God’ was invoked in meetings or by friends, I would feel myself tune out because it’s something I just couldn’t relate to.”
Hell yes. Still think fitspo is harmless? All that crap is promoting a very narrow body type which many people couldn’t hope to achieve through any amount of exercise or dieting. But HEALTH - we’re all capable of being healthy and happy.
Excerpt:
What’s metabolically healthy mean?
Your metabolic health is determined by several factors: High blood pressure, high triglycerides, low HDL - or good - cholesterol and high fasting glucose levels. For this study, a participant was considered metabolically healthy if they displayed zero or only one of the above symptoms.
Ortega and his colleagues use several terms to describe the study participants who were obese but metabolically healthy. They call it “uncomplicated obesity” or “metabolically benign obesity.” Basically that means the obese individuals saw few negative health effects of their extra weight.
The results
The researchers found that the metabolically healthy but obese participants had a 38% lower risk of dying than their metabolically unhealthy peers. There was also no risk difference between the metabolically healthy obese and the metabolically healthy normal weight participants.
“Our study, together with previous literature, strongly suggest that a better cardiorespiratory fitness will make you healthier regardless of your weight status,” Ortega told CNN.”
Really excited for this post! A few readers submitted their tattoos and the stories behind them. Excited to have some diversity in that two of the submissions came from older women (45 and 50 years old, specifically). Important reminder that people of all ages can suffer from ED, but also that you’re never too old to start getting tattooed!
